A stagecoach arrives in town. Miss Kitten Twitty gets out with her very large satchel and takes a room. Jim comes down stairs and takes Kitten's satchel to her room. After he leaves, she puts it on her bed and Dr. Loveless pops out. Kitten spikes the water pitcher and basin in Jim's room. Jim takes his shirt off and shaves. He then starts grimacing in pain. He collapses on the bed and sees Loveless in the window. He shoots Loveless, who falls to the ground. But when Jim goes to look at the body, there's nothing to be found. Artie arrives on the stage. Jim and Artie discuss a letter asking Jim to meet someone at a barn after dark. They check out the barn and Artie decides to go to the meeting alone. After dark, Jim struggles back to the barn. Jim and Artie fight and Jim shoots Artie. He goes back to the hotel only to find that there was no stagecoach, no Artie, and no shooting in the barn. Jim passes out on his bed.
The next morning, Artie arrives on the stage. The hotel clerk is waiting to tell him that Jim went mad last night and was taken to the hospital. Artie rides out to the hospital where he gets whupped by a little old crippled lady (ok, it was a man in disguise), and is thrown into Jim's room. Loveless visits them and announces his plan to kill every man, woman and child in America with his power. He then puts it into the staff's dinner wine to prove it. During dinner, Loveless and Antoinette sing "Lullaby and Goodnight" while the staff kills each other. Loveless then reveals his plan to use migrating geese to contaminate the world's water supply. Jim and Artie use a sharpened turkey leg bone and Artie's suspenders to kill the guard. Then they try to talk Kitten into opening the cage for them. Instead, during a monologue on why she loves Loveless, she bends the bars back enough for them to escape. Artie and Jim race to Loveless' lab, where they find him getting ready to release the geese. They stop him, but he escapes with Antoinette and Kitten to the lake. Jim shoots the boat and the three go down. Jim searches the lake, but finds nothing. But as they leave, the lake suddenly bubbles....
The ratings are:
Artie disguises: no stars
Artie's death scene ten stars
Jim fights: no stars
Shirtlessness: three stars (two for the shirtless
shaving, one for the wet shirt.)
Kissing: no stars
Directing God five stars
Writing God: five stars
Loveless: five stars
Duet: five stars
Total: thirty-eight stars
West Shaves with Poisoned Water
Loveless and Antoinette