In St. Louis, Jim heads for an appointment with Mr. Markham. The desk clerk tells him that he is the second Jim West to ask for Markham. Jim immediately dashed up to Markham's room. He breaks into his room, to find Markham on the floor and a man in an executioner's hood standing over him. The executioner tries to strangle Jim. Jim breaks his hold and the man escapes. Markham lives long enough to whisper "Enzo" and "Silver," then dies of a broken neck. Jim rushes downstairs to find the desk clerk also dead of a broken neck.
Jim rescues a wagon train being attacked by a group of Apaches (on the trail from St. Louis to Denver!) disguised as Calvary. During the attack, Artie tells Jim that Enzo's girlfriend, Topaz, is on the train. Once the Indians are run off, "Jonathan Ashley Kingston" introduces Jim to the rest of the train (Mousequeteer role call), including four women, any of whom could be Topaz. Later that night, after Jim and Artie discuss Enzo's hands, Joan drops dead in Jim's arms.
The next night, while on guard duty, Artie hears a strange man's voice. Diedre asks Jim to meet her at midnight by the stream (so much for her, anyone who makes that kind of arrangement always ends up dead). To pass the time, Jim gives another of the women an astronomy lesson (since when did Orion become a summer constellation?) and gets into a fight with El Bardhoom. He also identifies Artie's mystery voice as Enzo's. At midnight, Jim goes to the stream, hears a woman scream and, sure enough, Diedre's dead from a broken neck. And isn't Miss Tyler real keen on keeping Jim and Artie from the body.
During the burial, Jim and Artie notice that another member of the train, Jeff Smith, is missing (actually, he's up in Washington State, cooking). Once they reach Denver, Jim and Artie, thinking Smith's Enzo, start searching for him. Jim warns Artie that Smith's likely to be in disguise. Artie tells Jim that he's an expert on disguise. Then they both walk over to Miss Tyler and say goodbye to her. After that, they head for the saloon. Artie notices a man wearing Smith's hat. He refuses to answer their questions so Jim tosses him about the saloon a bit. (I hope that wasn't your saloon, JJ.) The man finally tells them he found Smith dead of a broken neck. They decide he's not Enzo. Artie notices Kohner, another member of the train, walking with the territorial governor. After a brief spat with the governor's guards, Jim gets into to see the governor and warn him about Enzo. The governor invites Jim to a party later that night and Jim meets Col. Deboldt. At the party, Col. Deboldt tells Jim that he's in Denver to return the soon-to-be-queen of his country, Princess Silva, home. Warning bells go off in Jim's head and he dashes off to find her before Enzo does. Artie, disguised as a waiter, notices another waiter taking Cherries Jubilee and molasses up to a widow. Jim reaches the girl's school, where Silva is staying, and gets knocked out by El Bardhoom.
After being knocked about by Bardhoom, Jim gets rid of him and heads upstairs. There, he finds Princess Silva and Miss Tyler. He's about to have Miss Tyler escort Silva to Col. Deboldt when he suddenly decks Miss Tyler. Miss Tyler's wig falls off and "she" is revealed to be Enzo. After a brief fight, Enzo is thrown off the stairs and breaks _his_ neck (fitting, rather). Jim grabs Silva and starts to take her to Col. Deboldt, when they're intercepted by Topaz. Artie intervenes and reveals Topaz to be ... Diedre (she was only _mostly_ dead. There's a big difference between _mostly_ dead and all dead.). Back at the train, Jim and Artie toast Princess Silva's coronation. She tells them the Col. is waiting for her and leaves just in time to miss Artie's dessert -- cherries jubilee with molasses (this, he explains is how he caught Deidre -- no one else is crazy enough to eat it). Later that night, Jim and Artie play cards.
The ratings are:
Artie disguises: six stars Jim fights: six stars Shirtlessness: zero stars Kissing: one and one-half stars Explosions: zero stars Total: thirteen and one-half stars