Once upon a time I used to like this episode. Then I took a real look at it. Now I'm wondering why.
It was a dark and stormy night. A woman screamed. A gun went off. Who's writing this?
Jim rides up to a waypost and gets attacked by a rather German Shepherd-like wolf. A man doing a bad Dracula impression watches. Jim shoots the dog and his horse runs off. Artie arrives on the stage, along with the soon-to-be King Stephan IX, a Captain Something or Other (see how much attention I paid to the ep?) and Stephan's daughter Leondra. Stephen wants to go to Luka (on the second floor) for the Coronation. Dracula leaves. Stephan asks about the wolf and he, Jim and Artie go wolf-hunting. They find the wolf's body along with the shopkeeper, who has some very strange marks around his throat.
After burying the shopkeeper, Jim and Artie change outfits, Artie into his normal clothes, Jim into ... a High Sierra Rescue Rangers outfit? Artie shows Jim a book and mentions Lycanthropy. We've now gone from Dracula to the Wolfman. Shall we try for Frankenstein? Leondra screams (it's obligatory) at something in the brush and Jim finds his horse. Jim and Leondra discuss her upcoming princess-hood. She's not looking forward to it. (Hey, this girl has an actual brain. Who goofed?) Dracula starts flashing a light in Morse code from a nearby hill. Artie writes it down and it spells out "VRKALAK." Stephan says it means someone is in great distress and he, Jim and Artie go off to find the source of the light. Someone kidnaps Leondra. Jim, Artie and Stephan arrive at the light and meet Dracula, who turns out to be some guy named Telemantes. Telemantes says he has Leondra and a wolf attacks Jim's sleeve. Our trio get back to the store to find Leondra missing and Stephan collapses.
The doctor announces that Stephan had a stroke and is dying. Artie head for Luka to bring back the coronation party. In a mine shaft, Telemantes injects Leondra with a mind-bending drug. (Some Dracula. He can't even whammy properly.) Jim rescues Leondra and Leondra whaps him over the head with a stick (a Richie Reservist in the making, perhaps?). Jim wakes up alone, surrounded by wolves.
Jim blows up the wolves and the mine shaft and escapes. Stephan is crowned by an Orthodox priest speaking Latin. Leondra arrives, alone, and Stephan dies. Back at the train, Queen Leondra holds a press conference to announce she's abdicating the throne. The unnamed Captain leaves an envelope on the desk for Leondra. It tells her to shoot Jim. She pulls a gun on him and her father appears. No, he's still dead, it's just Artie. A gunshot is heard. Telemantes & co-horts enter and find Jim on the floor. "Stephan" tells Telemantes to go away, he's still king. The Captain shoots Stephan, Jim shoot the Captain and after a fight, Telemantes falls on his hand, dead.
In summary: too much talk, not enough action and what was with that jacket? The only thing good about it was the Damsel in Distress.
And the ratings are:
Artie disguises: four stars (three for each undiscovered, two for
each if Artie reveals himself, one for
each discovered by bad guys.)
Jim fights: six stars (three for major winning fights, two
for major losing fights, one for minor
fights)
Total: ten stars